Each morning I wake up in various stages of rigor mortis. Sometimes I will have Charlie horses in both calves. Sometimes my lower back, or most usually my left hip will be in excruciating pain. Or, the vertebrae between my shoulder blades will get locked up tighter than Fort Knox. It could take me between thirty minutes and two hours to get out of bed, depending on how many times I fell back to sleep while I was trying to stretch away the pain.
But stretching stopped helping. Diet wasn’t doing anything. The Temperpedic bed didn’t do a damn thing either. That was surprising, as I’m a big fan of Swedish things like Saabs, professional hockey players, massage, meatballs and Ikea. So I figured the technologically-advanced Swedish mattress was a sure thing. But it wasn’t. It was, they said, either my anemia or my food allergies or mineral or vitamin deficiencies. I didn’t care what it was. It had to stop.
So I did the only other thing I could think of that might work. I bit the bullet and purchased my mini two-person hot tub/spa. Hopping in once at night before bed seemed to loosen my muscles so I would wake up in less pain. A visit after morning coffee relieved the stiffness and helped to warm up my muscles for the work to come. Sometimes I don’t even use the jets; I just sit in the heat, let it seep into my muscles, and then I do stretches. I feel like a senior citizen doing beginner’s water-yoga. But I feel better. It was a pricey investment in my body, but at my ‘seasoned’ age now, I’m not going to mess around.
And guess what? I’m not going to get in the hot tub, either. Our landlords are putting in a retaining wall right next to my spa, and the installers get here early – shortly after I wake up. This has been going on for weeks. So there will be no morning therapy for me. My shoulders are snarling and my heels are getting brittle as I sit here. That’s why I’m writing this: Because I’m annoyed.
Lots of things annoy people. Some people are in a perpetual state of annoyance. I think life’s a little too short for that, but what annoys us, annoys us. My doctor once sent me to a completely unconventional healer in hopes of uncovering the source of my mysterious illness. She hooked me up to a machine, shot radio waves through me, and told me that my “level of frustration exceeded my level of love.” My response was “Well duh, that’s because I have a brain.” I mean, come on – what human with a pulse and a brain cell wouldn’t be at least a little frustrated in this world?
You get up, you get knocked down; you get up, you get knocked down again. Does that really sound like fun? Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. As long as you keep getting up, I think you’re doing great.